Let’s dig through graveyards of dopamine corpses
I’ve chewed and spit out, and keep expanding
Just keep digging down and out a grave to fit
This king of insects I know I’ve been
(Bugging you and sucking out the happiness
I can’t wait to write a love song,
if that energy could ever be still in me)
All my heroes are cardboard cutouts
They don’t have to think, I wish I could join up
All this food for thought, no wonder it’s been hard
To breathe and walk around
A diabetic death wish upon a star
It’s so weird to think the last few years,
you’ve been on the down and down
You graduated and you got a house,
but you lost your head and heart
Somewhere in the endless void
of every here and now
There’s a boy with a bleach blonde smile
and a perfect little spark
And I hope he’s doing well
Sitting quiet in a basement
Afraid to turn off the lights
I’m still working on your portrait
Three years out, cursing the powers
That gave me the right to call myself an artist
What a joke; yeah, it’s a joke
I didn’t mean it, I promise
I’m pretending, I’m pretending
That there’s meaning in anything I say
I was hoping, I was hoping
You’d feel better from anything I’d ever say
And maybe it was better when I was just a quiet boy
Sitting quiet in a basement
Looking for super powers
In electric sockets, here I go
I’m on my own again
She moved back home
It’s all so casual
Everything’s so casual to everyone else
It must be really fun; yeah, it’s really fun
So I’m pretending, I’m pretending
That I don’t care about anything you say
I’ll be hiding, I’ll keep hiding
In the songs I write and play for only me
Until I find someone who needs me
If I’m ever needed someday
I can’t dance to save my life with a gun to my head
I’ll sing in the shower and overstay my welcome for myself
Just another year-withered self, tell me where to be
In East or West, forgiven and forgotten by the morning
I’m still wishing for the best
Yeah, you can keep the mess and laugh with your friends
But don’t let me in; don’t tell me
I’ll just say I’m just projecting
I’m probably just projecting
I need to be
I can’t dance at weddings in any state or mental state I’m in
I know it really shouldn’t matter
But I think too much for someone who isn’t so smart
And I feel too much for someone with a busted heart
I’m still hoping for the best
Yeah, you can keep the mess and laugh with your friends
But don’t let me in; don’t tell me
I’ll just say you’re just pretending
You’re trying to forget me; so forget me
Bluebird, another season and a struggle to find the right words
Don't make me say it
Of course I fell in love, but the sense of falling shook me when I couldn't wake up
So go find another man, you never met my first love
It's a two ton labeled 'burden'
It's why I'm always staring at the ground
Searching for puddles and reflections of a crowd
Of a life i once allowed
Bluebird, here's your song
I hope it hits you like the Thunder
I'm here to say I'm sorry, but that never helped
So I'll just keep taking the good things, wring them out and throw them out oh no, no
There goes another plan
It's my disease, I'll never know what makes it happen
I just hope we'll understand
I hope one day we'll understand
When I die, I want to see rainbows of spectrums of light
I couldn’t find in this life
I’ll craft a borealis crown, encase every emotion I forgot about
And feel them all at once
(No one asked to know
No one has to know)
When I die, I want to know that I did all I could
I tried to do some good
I’ll invite a shadow, she sings to me when I’m not remembered
I’ll go slow and savor every note
(No one asked to know
No one has to know)
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