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I Swore That Things Get Better​.​.​.​Then Things Got Worse

by Ky Hamon

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1.
Let’s dig through graveyards of dopamine corpses I’ve chewed and spit out, and keep expanding Just keep digging down and out a grave to fit This king of insects I know I’ve been (Bugging you and sucking out the happiness I can’t wait to write a love song, if that energy could ever be still in me) All my heroes are cardboard cutouts They don’t have to think, I wish I could join up All this food for thought, no wonder it’s been hard To breathe and walk around A diabetic death wish upon a star It’s so weird to think the last few years, you’ve been on the down and down You graduated and you got a house, but you lost your head and heart Somewhere in the endless void of every here and now There’s a boy with a bleach blonde smile and a perfect little spark And I hope he’s doing well
2.
Sitting quiet in a basement Afraid to turn off the lights I’m still working on your portrait Three years out, cursing the powers That gave me the right to call myself an artist What a joke; yeah, it’s a joke I didn’t mean it, I promise I’m pretending, I’m pretending That there’s meaning in anything I say I was hoping, I was hoping You’d feel better from anything I’d ever say And maybe it was better when I was just a quiet boy Sitting quiet in a basement Looking for super powers In electric sockets, here I go I’m on my own again She moved back home It’s all so casual Everything’s so casual to everyone else It must be really fun; yeah, it’s really fun So I’m pretending, I’m pretending That I don’t care about anything you say I’ll be hiding, I’ll keep hiding In the songs I write and play for only me Until I find someone who needs me If I’m ever needed someday
3.
I can’t dance to save my life with a gun to my head I’ll sing in the shower and overstay my welcome for myself Just another year-withered self, tell me where to be In East or West, forgiven and forgotten by the morning I’m still wishing for the best Yeah, you can keep the mess and laugh with your friends But don’t let me in; don’t tell me I’ll just say I’m just projecting I’m probably just projecting I need to be I can’t dance at weddings in any state or mental state I’m in I know it really shouldn’t matter But I think too much for someone who isn’t so smart And I feel too much for someone with a busted heart I’m still hoping for the best Yeah, you can keep the mess and laugh with your friends But don’t let me in; don’t tell me I’ll just say you’re just pretending You’re trying to forget me; so forget me
4.
Bluebird, another season and a struggle to find the right words Don't make me say it Of course I fell in love, but the sense of falling shook me when I couldn't wake up So go find another man, you never met my first love It's a two ton labeled 'burden' It's why I'm always staring at the ground Searching for puddles and reflections of a crowd Of a life i once allowed Bluebird, here's your song I hope it hits you like the Thunder I'm here to say I'm sorry, but that never helped So I'll just keep taking the good things, wring them out and throw them out oh no, no There goes another plan It's my disease, I'll never know what makes it happen I just hope we'll understand I hope one day we'll understand
5.
When I die, I want to see rainbows of spectrums of light I couldn’t find in this life I’ll craft a borealis crown, encase every emotion I forgot about And feel them all at once (No one asked to know No one has to know) When I die, I want to know that I did all I could I tried to do some good I’ll invite a shadow, she sings to me when I’m not remembered I’ll go slow and savor every note (No one asked to know No one has to know)

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released January 12, 2024

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Ky Hamon Peoria, Illinois

A failed clone of 2008's acoustic pretty boys

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